Journal Prompts for Healing Your Inner Critic

There are lots of valid reasons not to feel safe in the world: global warming, oppressive patriarchal systems, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, racism, ableism, etc. These systems thrive on keeping us small, afraid, and ashamed. That is why we must create a safe inner space. One of the most potent forms of protest is radical self-acceptance. By approaching our inner worlds with compassion and curiosity, we can begin to heal our shame. I believe that by freeing ourselves from the shame of the oppressor and the oppressive systems that we are embedded in, we are acting in civil disobedience.      

The first step to creating a safe inner space is to get to know your inner critic. This journaling exercise will help you develop inner safety by making peace with your inner critic. 

A lot of us grew up feeling and being “different.” We were criticized for being “too sensitive.” We had difficulty fitting into the box designated for us by a capitalistic society that values logic, reason, productivity, and competition over inclusivity/acceptance, emotional sensitivity, and mutual support. This left us feeling like something was wrong with us rather than something being wrong with the environment that lacked the infrastructure that would allow us to thrive. 

The inner critic believes that criticizing us can help us be “more normal” and, therefore, gain more acceptance and feel less pain in a world that doesn’t understand us and wasn’t designed to support the needs of people who are deeply empathic, sensitive to the environment and the emotions of those around them. 

With this in mind, the first step to creating a safe inner space is to permit yourself to slow down, process your feelings, and recharge. Doing this, you will begin to find your inner rhythm and honor the slow and steady pace your body needs. From this place, you will start to create a rich inner life, and that inner life will begin to manifest itself outwardly by attracting like-minded, supportive people and creating environments in which you can thrive.

Before beginning this exercise, I’d like to invite you to do something that helps you feel grounded and resourced first. Anytime we embark on an intense inner journey, we must ensure we have enough gas in the tank to explore. So, let’s talk about ways to gas up before heading in. 

Here is a list of ways you can fill up:

Putting on some good music and moving your body 

Putting on your favorite song and singing it as loud as you want

Going to a sound bath or playing your own gongs or crystal singing bowls

Hanging out or hiking in nature and taking time to take in the beauty consciously

Laying in the sun

Cuddling or playing with your pets

Working in your garden

Taking a bath with Epsom salt and essential oils

Thinking about something you feel grateful for and anchoring the sensation in your heart

Using your imagination to create what would be your perfect safe space

Do some yoga or a fun workout class

After spending time getting resourced and recharging, you are ready to begin working on healing your inner critic by using this journaling exercise: 

Q1: Take a moment to think about your inner critic. The part of you that can sometimes feel harsh and even vicious with how it speaks to you. Can you find the felt sense of it in your body? Where does it live? Your belly, heart, mind, etc? What’s the quality of it? Is it cold, hot, solid, fluid etc? It might feel like a block somewhere or like tension in the neck and shoulders. What’s happening in your breath as you connect with it?

Q2: As you notice the places where you experience the felt sense of this inner critic, how do you feel toward it? Do you feel angry, tired, frustrated, or resentful towards it? Do you feel confused by it? 

Q3: Ask the parts of you that feel negatively towards your inner critic if they would be willing to take a step back and give you some space to connect with the critic alone. 

Q4: Now that it is just the two of you, notice whether this part has an image that corresponds to its somatic feeling. Can you visualize the way it feels?

Q5: If you are working with an image, would it be helpful to move that image a little further away from you to see it from a distance? Imagine moving the critic to the other side of a street or across a vast canyon. Next, imagine that you have a pair of binoculars that allow you to zoom in on it if you want to get a better look without having to get too overwhelmed by being too close to it. 

Q6: Does your critic feel/look a certain age? Try asking it at what age it learned its beliefs about the world and how it needs to operate to keep you safe. Does it have a specific memory that it would be willing to share about how it learned what it believes? See if you can allow the answer to arise within you rather than thinking of the answer. If nothing comes up, that’s okay. 

Q7: After you gather more information, please check in again and see how you feel towards your critic. How is your breath? Do you feel calmer and more open to hearing more about its experience?  

Q8: Ask if there is anything else you feel would be important for you to know about it. 

Q9: Did you receive an answer? If so, how does it feel to hear that answer? If not, continue to sit with it for a moment longer, then continue. 

Q10: Next, ask what it’s afraid might happen if it stopped doing its job.  

Q11: How do you feel about your critic now? Are you developing a deeper understanding of its needs and feelings, what it cares about, and why it does what it does? 

Q12: Does your critic’s voice sound familiar to you? Are their beliefs your beliefs, or were they handed down to you due to intergenerational trauma?  Do you know what it fears, wants, and who or what it's protecting based on these fears? 

Q13: How are you feeling toward this part of yourself now? Do you understand this part better now? With this new understanding, do you feel more compassionate toward your critic and yourself? 

Q14: Ask your inner critic if there is anything you could do to make it feel safe and able to turn down the volume a bit. Are there resources you have now that you didn’t have when you were a kid that would be important to communicate with this part about? Sometimes, parts need help understanding why their behavior and beliefs may have kept you safe when you were a kid, but don’t consider the resources and choices available to you now as an adult.

Q15: Ask your inner critic if there is another job they would rather be doing instead.

Q16: When the volume of your inner critic gets turned down a bit, can you hear the voice of another part hiding in exile? This young part might hold sadness, pain, or anger around feeling rejected and misunderstood by its family and society. 

Q17: If so, begin this process again from the perspective of the exiled part’s experience to support healing the pain it’s been carrying. The critic has been keeping you distracted so that you could avoid feeling these feelings when it wasn’t safe for you to have them. That is why creating a safe space within is so important. These parts of ourselves need an opportunity to share their stories with a compassionate adult who can give them what was missing back then: a supportive, empathetic, and validating environment to heal and grow within.   

Once we have established this basic foundational understanding of how to work with parts, you can substitute the “inner critic” with another part and go through this exercise again.